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Monday, October 25, 2010

1st snow of winter 2010, holy killing.

last weekends again i had only half of a day to stay with baby son, but much rewarding. we found lots of pleasure in games, a small game even brought baby son fun to probe it. the sinful grandma there peeking baby&exert ill will upon the holy, lured baby son to try to defeat a boy student there restlessly. she even called me to watch the ugly game. baby&me, we soon joined watching a game trailer online together, while the old demon exile without our attention. so did the boy student. after his mom returned, baby yet insisted my trying another shooting game with him before i left, around 5pm when dorm's canteen serves dinner. that's really a gliding happy time among us.
mother still in treatment, &i hardly judge the perspective of her survival. God surely heard my call&affirmative to me. i kept it calling in in morning after i got up in serial days. however, yesterday my cellphone ran out of charge, so i buzzed in lately at noon, when i waiting baby's mom from her school outside of her house, after visited telcom office. i talked with my younger elder sister&her husband, who came over together to see our ill mother. i told her again my budget of ¥20000 for mom's restore her health&survives another 3 years. she laughed&let me just keep on my own business, let hometown relatives on their own.
returned to QRRS dorms, i listened a sermon can't be more cohesive. after let baby know my taking part in church on phone, i launched to try hdr composition of photos. after tried some small warez, i soon found photoshop is the most powerful tool, killing any small softwares. i continued to export my panorama via photoshop with new trust on it. the dorm's lavatory's re-furnish also finished, i enjoy washing&toilet first time since the noisy&dusty project launched.
this morning when i first caught sight of the sky outside, i sensed it might snowed. it did. so i shot some photos from my window at once, preparing a blog for the saint moment. i once doubting the killing by the white angels might hurt my mother in ailment, but i insisted God promised me. after breakfast, on way to office, i buzzed hometown, empty on the phone in my passed dad's house. but eldest brother talked with me on his mobile, said mother's health got improved. kid brother, who always active, brought his wife&son to the county, likely let mother alone in the old house. so far, i can't gain more positive news from my concerned. God, let it enough&steadily resuming to normal.
Its a bright morning now. i had problem with upload my photos entrenched by China surveillance, but God helps it proceeding forward. God, care my girl young&agile. bring my new life in our prime time. God, let me have the ability to upgrade baby's homework to digitize it, let me later or sooner buy baby a child mobile, for which he longing. God, bring sunshine in my life here&in my hometown. enhance my kid brother's finance with a sound&ever growing business he likes.

From life as it extends
From life as it extends
From life as it extends
for google&flick blocked within China mainland for years, here some copy hosted domestic.

echo of summer memory: happy seashore aside River Nen, where baby son played months ago.

outside scene of benzrad's QRRS office: 1st snow&a shallow one in winter 2010.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

morning sunshine saves my mother in dark hometown.

a blessing morning.^yesterday is a fruitful day. all things went smoothly as expected. in the morning i buzzed dad's old house but empty. then buzzed second elder brother, who simply told me mother getting better. i laughed&told him my budget of ¥20000 for mom's survival another 3 years in the world. he resolved&soon shut up. i worked in office immersed. then eldest brother buzzed in, told me my kid brother returned from his workplace, Guangdong, southern China, to Zhudajiu, &shifted mother to the best hospital in Wuxue county again. such a relief!! sins in office challenged me all day, but i more&more see the open space above the dirty land. left office an hour earlier than work time, for the sunshine is gloomy in later afternoon. in night in dorm, i reviewed the bravado of kid brother, &sins in my second elder brother, who twice sent me to asylum while my kid brother twice fetched me into normal world from torture&espionage&choking asylum in China nowadays. quite some secrets the elder brother kept away from me. i also saw the dark in mother's life&soul, while dad, God's silent efforts to save me in years sufficiently. in dawn dreamed of mother. also dreamed my baby son, or my kid brother, found infection in center of his palm, i penetrated with needle&found a worm inside. i picked the worm into my palm, which got infected at once, but disclosed the blister, a bird, or at least a mouth like bird's beak nested inside. i killed it with needle at once. waked up by cell's alarm, buzzed eldest brother&kid brother in hometown. expressed obligation to kid brother's financial support for mother's treatment, promised him my reward when my life renew&improved. slept again till near 9:40am, when baby son finished his music lesson nearby. rushed out of dorm to wait outside of the school, till we gathered, told baby son the workable of ¥1500 budget for his homework's digitization, explained him the merit of the solution. baby listened&raised some questions. after he&his grandma took bus, i returned dorm to fetch my work suite&join office. the restaurant near office with a sinful chef first time refused my debt lunch, its a bliss for me, so i lunched in another pub. God, i even urgent need a partner in my life here, bring my girls into our new marriage. God, let me taste the wine of hub of harmony family life again! i really missing it very much!


a milestone for mother in illness.^yesterday i kept busy most time. buzzed in the beginning of morning, eldest brother in hometown talked to me. i told him my plan of ¥20000 budget for mother's restore health&lives at least another 3 years. in office, i finished keeping alive family skype accounts, claimed a new one for China Democracy, the namespace God recently encouraged me to sustain. read all day, left office near 6pm till web stuff in pocket. a gay in dorm recently haunted around me, ignited my deep vomiting upon the ugly&sinful. buzzed baby&arrange weekend meeting up. i decided buzzing mother every morning in period of her staying bed. its a bright morning. elder brother just told me mother's situation improved. i laughed&emphasized my budget for them. God, bring me warmth of family, with my mother, with my beloved baby, with my girls i trying to reach out so long on the cyberspace, as well as for the emerging Empire of China reset for 1109 years in my title from my ancestor's bliss from God. God, i know, my new life just descends on horizon like morning star. fresh&saint is her name. God, u see.
BTW, found a photo of mother shot by amateur photographer equipped with DSLR cameras visiting the village, Zhudajiu. i hope i can find the source file. mother in focus of visiting amateur cameraer
its unique id is 058dc13b16c3c880954be4d3714b2aa5.


mother at hometown suffering Ascites&in lapse.^yesterday baby's mom, emakingir talked to me when online about a passing life of her colleague after 3 months suffering cancer. she suggested me buzz my hometown relatives. i buzzed mother first, but empty on other side in air. then i buzzed my young elder sister, who told me mother kept on bed for 3-4 days after returned from hospital. i buzzed mother again, the wife of my eldest brother there attending my mother received my phone, said hospital cost ¥3000 or more. buzzed second elder brother, he said mother likely dying, &suggested let it go&inform me if thing go worse. i buzzed my eldest brother, aiming to talk to mother via his cellphone for land phone is in another room from my mother currently settled, but empty again. i insisted buzzing dad's old house, and mother on her own received my phone about near 7pm. i urged her building stronger will power to survive, and our future can be even brighter as time&God brings forth. mother complained cold&we stopped chat in air. the night no doubt i saw many omens. before went to bed, i made of mind that i loan from my 2 elder brother ¥20000 for striking death away from our mother. in dawn, i buzzed to mother, eldest brother there talked to me, i told him i will write bill within coming 20 years for ¥10000 for mother, ¥5000 for 2 brother each, if mother survive the illness&aging for another 3 years. brother admitted it, told me an aunt&her daughter visiting my mother on bed. i tried to buzz younger elder brother but unavailable. i hope my message arrives the moment i decided.
God, its so brilliant a morning. Dad, i know u beside me. save my mother&let my world even stronger, let peace&glory surround my business here on the planet under ur shine! God, let me do the right&timeless life forever instilled in my beloved. God, bring my girls into my new life ahead, which must be more enjoyable in soul&materially. God, raise my mother above sins&ailments. God, be with me!
a bright&busy morning.^got up early to make water. woke up till sunshine redden the higher building outside of my dorm's window. buzzed eldest brother who attending in dad's old house about my support of ¥20000 in budget for mother's survival among her illness now threatening her life, in 20 years ahead. in office activated family accounts with video chat site, chattrspace.com, kept alive family accounts with skype&claimed some new for family newer namespace. done in shines. then buzzed younger elder brother about my financial wishlist against mother's failing upon aging&ailment. the brother not so appreciate my act&shut chat abrupt. God, save my mother&bring peace&glory in my world which so busy&meaningful. God, cast ur warm sunshine over my ailing mother in cold&suffering.

benzrad's comment on the day.

riots all over the mainland of China nowadays, burning pains in Chinese people.

killing cadre&cop, China's machine dog system, is the most urgent task for China nowadays. they can torn&swallow all Chinese on mainland as their prey.
靖西暴动(大图组图) - 人人网 校内- 日志分享 - blog.renren.com

saint and insane, suffering&laughing.

no one can save China mainland nowadays except the savor. sins&sink of China never clearer&dooming than this moment in this event of Dr. Fang's encountered.

even sad upon the miserable Dr. Fang, new hope of China as an Empire reset by me, benzrad, never more clearer&promising.




bright morning.^yesterday refined my blogger blogs' template, corrected wrong auto post. in night after dinner went out to receive baby son who had music lesson near QRRS Dorms. i talked to him about my efforts ahead to digitize his homework by installing tablet&printer, including his mom's old camera. his mom rebuff as usual but baby listened carefully&didn't comment. returned to dorm, reviewed the plan. join neighbor dorm&taught some pc skill, gays in&around let me have to clean myself by music from my notebook. in dawn dreamed one of my alumni, a Wang, with his fake wife visited me&tried to cheat us. my eldest brother also did. then in a cinema, the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, with his wife in a joint chamber talked to me. his wife tested me with a riddle, turning out to let me fetch food for them.
its a brilliant morning. God, bring my new life with rich pleasure with my girls. let me act in free of short of money.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

life renders like sea of light of golden Autumn.

recent days mostly sunny, like real Autumn in my hometown, central China. last week i almost totally live via loaned dinners, for my weekly budget ran out before 2 weeks ago. baby's mom, emakingir, arranged by her school to busy on weekends, by power negotiation i narrowly got a half day to visit my baby son&fetched my living support for next 2 weeks. ema also upset by my insisting to take ¥200 in a bundle, instead of ¥100 weekly. playing pc games with baby also seemingly less interesting, but in the end of the day entertain from pc games aspired us more. baby played with a girl pupil of her mother, the harmony really touched me for its simplicity&warmth. that lets me return to dorm with more assurance of God's care upon my Royal.
Today is the second day of work week. i less blogged in weekends, &last till now. China surveillance hacked more closer to my web traffic, several occasions they likely command lined to disrupt my connection, esp in last weekends&over time of the company. recent Internet via corporate lan broke down for quite some times, likely they harness more upgraded network gear to filter&espionage. however, i still finished quite some operations planned, like updated my domain registrant information, adding logo onto header of my new blogs for Chinad, China Democracy, fine tuned my panoramio photos' geotag, etc. last night i frequent neighbor dorms for fun of gathering, mostly likely gays there. returning to my dorm&solitude, i review my love for my Taiwan girl, my girl zhou, my girl on the train from my second hometown journey, i saw clearer the glory of Son. world in my hand&firmly transfers to my heirs in shines&shrines. i felt my new life ahead with my beloved, with rich drink&dinner&gossip, never so near that its warmth passed to me.
Ok, dirt&sin in office challenged me now. bye my girls, come and join me now. u mean my hub or harbour. dream with me above my arms before the winter. God, bring me my new life in tendering love, that u promised me.


dreamed of Japanese, &progress of red army.^last night later join canteen, where the larger family of the owner there busy. the sister, most beautiful among them, falsely stood against her brother-in-law, let me see the needed decision to bypass them. in dorm challenges from neighbor gays called forth my review of my love. see clearer the bliss upon the Son. in dawn dreamed of progress of red army in modern China history, when&where they took authority from local tycoon, &leading common Chinese in great sufferings into larger social political trend like communism. saw the universal way of winning attitude to provide improved service to the society to edge out the old ones. breakfast as God allows. its a 3rd brilliant day in this golden Autumn. God, bring me my beloved girls!


dreams.^yesterday in my view another gaining day. in night before went to bed, the sinful plots of criminal from my QRRS office, esp. the monitor, a spy since his college, displayed itself in my mind. God let sins falling around me, &show me the glory of Son. in dawn dreamed of Japanese family. then in a marriage ceremony. then found myself doing coordinating job among hospital, school, army&arsenal. enjoyed late sleep again, &breakfast in canteen. its sunny in the morning. new network espionage equipment harnessed recently in my office building frequently broke down my Internet&punished all LAN users minutes of blocking off all Internet traffic. shits! loser in nowadays China getting mad&worsening everyday.


dreamed of a girl athlete.^yesterday was fruitful. the Internet via corporate lan down for hours. i dozed after failed trying contacting upper cadres. stayed in office after 6pm till got games i was aspired. there is a beautiful girl in the dorms' canteen. roamed outside&met the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou. offer ¥5 to a passing homeless man. the night is warm, i first time recently got up later then 7am. dreamed in dawn a career soccer player, a girl, whose team likely from southwestern China, Shichauan. i in dream got close intimacy with her. breakfast in canteen. now its cloudy but hopeful still a sunny day later.
God, nothing in the world can ascribe to ur glory, which is forever untouchable for life on the planet. nothing obligation to the Son on the earth can be granted. God, u see.


a day on horizon of my second life with new wives.^today is a rare sunny day in recent days. i claimed 2 extra blogs from blogger.com of google for China Democracy, their id is Chinadc&chinadem, near noon break finished setting up widgets on page, analytics from google, adsense for feeds, etc, &published them within my shared google reader feeds bundle, zhonepub. i also sorted my reader, ditched outdated/dead rsses. corporate Internet once broke in afternoon. i read quite some feeds i subscribed after Internet resumed. sins in office again challenged me most daytime, &gathered momentum in afternoon. i left office ten minutes before work time over to avoid dirt, esp. from the monitor who likely prepared to linger after work to profane. roamed outside speedily, for baby tonight came over to have music lesson, just minutes walk from his school to my dorm. i bought him some new color ball pens, for one of them i bought him days ago, a pink one, don't spell ink smoothly. one dorm mate loaned me ¥20 for the act&its second time he did. after met baby&his mom, who insisted not to haunt KFC as i suggested, i found she forgot to fetch my missing clothing, &arranged me to fetch tomorrow on my own. when i sent them into bus, a cop previously worked in QRRS' police station followed them, narrowly passed by me. its second time the cop showily did. its a day for my second wife, her message of arriving inspired me so much, i bought a parcel of sausage to celebrate the moment. its first night this winter the dorm heated by steam tunnel, warmth from Heaven reaches me, surely! corporate Internet down for hours. connected but lagging speed. tried to contact director so i first response is office hooligans broke the equipment again, but later found directly connected to router also lagging. dozed then, now surfing with a low speed.


a day won at last. now beams of sun.^its cloudy since morning, i busy with posting till noon break finished. also help baby&his mom post baby's recent photos accompanied her mom's hometown visit. later claimed group with 163.com for my hometown, Zhudajiu. cost some time to customize its homepage, for the copy on google groups in same title has quite some redundant code lines. the gays in office challenged all day. soon before the end of work time the facing evil left, but the monitor, a male prostitute in essence, joined&closed the door to profane. the sunshine turns very beautiful in late afternoon, warm&golden, &i readily left office about ten minutes before work time over, with satisfaction after the work load. dinner especially delicious for hunger. after roamed outside, i loaned from nearby restaurant to have 6 sticks of toast beef to glorify my complacent in God's shine. buzzed baby's mom after fetching some water from neighbor dorm, for my dorm underwent renovation for a week, &tap water cut off since the launch of the project. God, i deeply craving for a stable&materially enjoyable life! bring my girls into our new life!
&now its a rare sunny morning recently. God, bring me more wondering moments with my beloved.


blog is life.^posted a blog to include recent photos in National Day vacation. hope surprise in coming holiday season.

From life as it extends
From life as it extends
From life as it extends
for google&flick blocked within China mainlnad for years, here some copy hosted domestic.

2 skyscrapers built by QRRS manifesting its ambition to conquer the area.

a bird in cage brought by elders in Qiqihar railway southern park.


Monday, October 11, 2010

clouds gathered after our mean National Day vacation.

today there is sunshine but weak. i still frequently live penniless. with baby son, warrenzh, God of Universe, peace in my heart echoing God's praise forever unshakable. the cloudy weather since the end of National Day vacation warns me of many threats against my emerging Empire of China, but that's only a far cry from the crashing loser on the scary land now dominating&smothering the Chinese people. Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan, still caring my life, &even clearer she is reinforced by God who love the two subtly different nations thousand years lives apart while beats harmoniously pulse of life&faith. in a larger continent uncrowded&uncrossed, legend of proud&glory will continue to utter.
Ok, its a prompt post for baby's recent photos in our unseductive National Day vacation. a Liu earns a Nobel peace prize. God sees the triumph of democracy unbreakable shines over Zhu's, my honorable family since 2 dynasties in Chinese history.


a day half cloudy.^in dawn dreamed of great view of Lordship, like carrying turtle which can drain the earth. arrived baby's mom's house early&bought them breakfast including bean curd juice. backup stuff before baby left to have Chinese Pinyin lesson. tried new games, till attracted by one. baby played a lot with his mom's pupils there having their tutorials. lunch is rich, IE. toast beef with onion. lately i went to shower in pubic bathroom nearby. lingered awhile after returned, while baby watching animation online, his mom read novel online. anything can remind me my new marriage, that's full at the moment. anything can cater to baby's joy, that's awaiting in coming new year. after dined in canteen, i joined local church, where i first time dozed for minutes. the sermon was warm&earnest, God, u see the distance between Heaven&my land now. tomorrow will be sunny, i assert.


a day of my birthday, recharged.^reading all day while in heavy dirt from sins, ie. gays, in office. God let me gain from web like produce from field. its still foggy in morning, since last night, but turned weakly sunny in afternoon. i tried facebook new group feature as reported in my rss feeds, but unfortunately they were still unavailable for old groups. chatted awhile with hometown relatives in QQ, but not much fun. these days i frequently reckon support from Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen of Japan, if the sum could solve my deficit now gathered to near ¥2000, and my wish list for new year, a Dell game notebook will cost ¥7000, &some other spending like hometown duty, ie. life support of my old mother, write back broadband bill for my work online in my last hometown vacation from April to June, 2010 , ¥1000, &finally clear debt to my Taiwanese friend who help register domains, ¥2000. i badly want to treat my baby son&his mom 3rd time with toasted mutton, in a nearby restaurant next to the local church. God, these days i live in penniless but survived so well, i enjoyed every bite so sweet! God, i thank u for the weightless life, pl let me do as i will in coming year end celebrations. bring my girl zhou, or anyone of my girls into my arms, Asoh, u know, bring my new life from dream into routine&concrete.


a foggy morning.^today is the first work day after National Day vacation. the fog started since last morning. in dusk i spent more time roaming outside to avoid dirt in dorm. this vacation started with a breakfast i bought for baby&his mom when they still on bed while i went over by bus near their house, and end with a lengthy nap baby&me both took on bed after gaming, while his mom busy with sorting house. my financial situation still worsening, but God let me enjoy life so sweet&meaningful. God, bring me my new family.

benzrad's comment on the day

irresistible of Christian one world.

world tolerance to Islam must toward a moment when shows the formidable of Christian. delay of proper response can call forth menace&threats that's real. God, bring clear the failure of Islam undebatable.


See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/bz9e
Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


dreamed of our old house in my hometown, central China, rebuilt. my passed dad, God, taming a tiger. my second elder brother tamed another.

From Our mean National Day holiday
From Our mean National Day holiday
for google&flick blocked within China mainlnad for years, here some copy hosted domestic.

baby son bored in his mom's hometown visit.

baby with visiting pal, daughter fo his mom's colleague's.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

young lives blessed in dawn drizzle.

a night in bliss.^yesterday is meaningful for me. even penniless, i managed borrowed ¥20&bought baby KFC food in last gathering his mom refused us upon baby's refusal my once drinking in his cup of Pepsi cola. when i arrived, baby just in low mood, for his mom scorned him. after ate the food i brought, he rejoiced&start to watch animation while i busy with backup stuff from web. he first time closed the door of his room to avoid dirt from his mom's boy pupil. he also save my love with his cry when i mistakenly close his player&lost playing history. his mom fetched him&he stayed in bedroom till i ready for game&invited him. we tried new magic games. he&his mom arranged to leave Qiqihar to visit his mom's relatives in a city of 3 hours train tour. its so beautiful moment when we babbled in balcony sunshine while his mom went out to prepare food on train. he also broke my glasses in game. after returned to QRRS, i arranged to buy a new glasses with a loan of ¥50 from the vendor, ¥60 prepaid at once. before night i clear most of my debts, mainly with restaurants nearby. after treated a dorm pal who loaned me last night with ¥10, i was left less than ¥50 from 2 weeks' living support, ¥200 baby's mom handed over to me. It drizzled in dawn while i lately slept, till near 10am i got up. i know God saving my young girls. after 11am, i fetched my new glasses, ate a merely rich lunch, now i be seat in office to kill time. God, Asoh Yukiko, bring my girl zhou to me, write out my bills&let me act in freedom. i love ur drizzle so much, bring peace&away from wanting to my heart.


dreamed of my passed dad, God.^yesterday can be an hour prolonged. i waited d/l till 6:30pm left office. dined in debt nearby, where the chef, a demon dirtily challenged me for several times. roamed in dorm all night, reviewing mafia led by sins in office restlessly attempting earning from me by bloodiness. this morning dreamed of my passed dad, so vivid never seen in years, preparing Ciba, 糍粑, in hometown. later mother joined&family enjoyed the Chinese traditional delicacy. Its a brilliant morning, i ate breakfast as God lets. thx, God. Today is last day before National Day vacation. hope i can play new games with baby son.
bring my girl zhou, who re-appeared yesterday noon in QRRS, to me, God, in this vacation, let me have companion. Asoh Yukiko, join me in new life right now!


a day in bliss of rain.^posted a blog entry to include recent tweets&photos, esp baby in new clothes. fix failing autopost, refined baby's second qzone his mom help him claimed months ago. it drizzled before noon, so sweat in memory&faith of Asoh Yukiko, my Japanese Crowned Queen. China surveillance blocked heavily amid the operation, in joint with the sin on facing desk in office. God, none in the world exists between us, the trinity, none can probe the exchange in One. saves my works online, saves my Empire of China in its broken trash in end of darkest&hopeless brutal failure.


a day thankful while shallowly sorry.^yesterday mostly a raining day. left office earlier than work time after got stuff from web, returned to QRRS dorms in pouring rain. in canteen i ate second loaned dinner. in night in dorm reviewing my love. by reviewing the risk free waiting for d/l finished, i learned God just lets me be patient, in the end universally gift i yearning for waiting for me, just no hastle. buzzed baby son in agitation, but he told me not buzz him, for he busy with study. the dorm sees these days wading of young residents, and most rooms on the floor now shut door in night. however, now its a bright morning as i expected. God, bring my girls to me, esp. Asoh Yukiko, and my girl zhou. i need even urgenter a new family now, u know.